Dear Katy Perry,

You didn't get shafted, sweetheart. You got lucky.

As a manufactured posterchild for AutoTune, the fact that you even received a Grammy nomination in the Best Female Pop Vocal Performance category, despite not being able to sing live to save your life, is a pretty big deal. For you to then post a blog entry implying that you got "shafted" when you were "shut out" of the other categories is an insult. It's an insult to my ears and to the industry that morphed you from an attention-starved blonde Christian artist who can't sing to an attention-starved brunette pseudopinup who still can't sing but has good producers.

Any number of artists would kill just to get signed, let alone nominated for a Grammy in any one category, and this is how you thank the Academy?

Katy, you're not Kanye. Establish some credibility as an artist instead of as a puppet. Learn to sing live instead of jumping into cakes. Use your vocal chords to do your job instead of running your over-lipsticked mouth. The right to throw a tantrum is reserved to those with talent. Stop biting the hands that feed you, or you'll soon be starving--and you'll deserve that more than any award I can imagine.

Love,

*Jess, who is transparently biased.