How to Avoid Being A Huge Tool

Be literate. Literacy is sexy. Not like this goon, who, despite my page being private, stumbled upon me on myspace and won't leave me be. Check this crap out:


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ?
Date: Jan 12 2007 12:33 AM
Sugar CAndy mountain? Thats freaking awesome!!

So I was amused, because most people don't understand the reference. To verify (and wind up disappointed):

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jessicalmost cares
Date: Jan 11 2007 6:35 PM
Do you know what it refers to?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ?
Date: Jan 12 2007 1:38 AM
Not really. I just liked the phrase. I googled it and there's a web site by that name. What does it mean to you?

What the Hell? "What does it mean to you?" I don't do Dr. Phil shit. I hate it when people ask me what I'm feeling for significant things (do I even have feelings? There's a better question), let alone stupid junk like this. In any case:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jessicalmost cares
Date: Jan 11 2007 7:47 PM
It's the name of the hypothetical utopia in Orwell's Animal Farm.

And then he tries to sound smart by using the word "allegorical." Unfortunately, in missing the entire point of my one-sentence reply, he does the opposite.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ?
Date: Jan 12 2007 5:47 AM
OH, I missed high school and never got around to reading it. I'm not much into politics even if it is fiction. Don't really go in for books with the allegorical overtones either. Sounds like a really nice place though. In the book, is it a nice place?

Um, how do you miss all of high school? Unless you're like most of the people who went to mine, it should only take four years (please note that the stabbing that occurred in my high school was the work of an eighteen year old sophomore, and no, I can't even write this stuff). What were you busy doing, sir? Just wondering. Anyway, it was at this point that I began banging my head against my purple and green walls and wishing I had an iron curtain to drop on stupid almost-30-year-olds who try to spit game at me like this.


*By Jess, who, despite doubting a draft reinstatement happening anytime soon, still claims to have flat feet until we're out of Iraq.