the most important piece of advice ever

"I think you always have to do what you set out in life to do, regardless of how successful you are at it. You are successful when you're doing what you want to do. You're not successful if you give up and do something you don't want to do. It's not about how much you make, as much as it is that you actually went for it." -BUTCH WALKER TO PLANET VERGE.

I've been reading this quote a lot lately. I have the issue of Planet Verge we did the Butch Walker tribute in signed by the man himself and hanging above my desk. So it's always there, as if screaming at me. Or it's me screaming at myself.....

The other day I was going through the Planet Verge filing cabinets getting rid of old stuff. I found a whole bunch of letters from our fans, ranging from a girl in Puerto Rico begging me to help make her a star, to people who read about us in Teen People and want to be a part of our team. It feels really good to know that people look up to you. But the ironic thing is, I constantly wonder if I made the right decisions with my life.

I graduated college and instead of getting a real corporate job in a magazine or PR field, dedicated my life to making a movement. Trying to start your own company is not something I reccomend. I get asked advice on how to start a magazine all the time. The first thing I say? Don't do it! Get a real fan base online before even thinking about moving into the print world, spending your life savings and risking financial security in your life because you work a crappy part time job in order to have time to follow your dream.

So here I am. Three years after college. And only now am I finally feeling like "Hey, i'm getting somewhere." But it's not fast enough. And how much longer can I spend living the dream before I need to actually grow up, face the 9-5 world and say "At least I tried?"

It took me those three years after college to come to the conclusion that I DON'T WANT to even do music journalism anymore! It bores me. Bands bore me. Radio bores me. I don't want to be writing about the same thing over and over again. I want to be the one bringing new exciting things to people. Changing the boring way of the world.

As much as I can be a great editor and running things, I thrive being the one behind the scenes. Being part of the band's team, doing PR. Finding the band and bringing them to attention to labels. Making a difference in their careers, while making a name for myself. But once again, this business is all about proving yourself. And I have come so far, yet feel so far away... Maybe this is lack of sleep and not enough Vitamin C in me doing all the talking. But I just go back to that Butch Walker quote and know everything will be ok. I went for it. I had amazing life experiences, met extraordinary people (like Butch), and took chances other people only dream about. So what if I'm broke now? Eventually I'll be able to afford myself and pay off all those credit card bills. lol

So here I am deciding what to do with my life. Go back to school and be a teacher like all the boring, easy way out people? Figure that will give me summer's off and free time to still run a PR company. But really hate it cause I would be wasting so much talent. Or find another, higher paying crappy part-time job with benefits so I can keep striving for my dream and hope my boyfriend hits it rich so I can count on him for support? (DON'T EVER COUNT ON A MAN, Ladies! My momma taught me right with that one. You gotta be strong and independent).

Right now, I think I'm gonna go with the flow. Take one day at a time. Live life today and try not to worry too much about all the tomorrows. Good things come to those who wait, right?

Here's to the dreamers. The ones who start something, support something and don't give in.

*Joelle