Sohodolls, The Academy Is.., The Matches, Butch Walker and Hanson are ON THE VERGE. Coming in early '09 from Planet Verge & Ambush TV!

Monday, February 05, 2007

The Parisian Paradox

I can't decide whether Paris Hilton is a genius in disguise or if she really is an honest to God imbecile.

She's made a "career" of venturing to night clubs sans undergarments (as well as modesty) and spewing out mindless drivel that winds up--with a photo of her barely clothed and perpetually appearing to be on the verge of winking--on Page Six. She also had that Simple Life show with Nicole Richie (who I find only to be slightly less useless as a human being), but lest we forget--her sex tape debuted before that did.

With the opening of the now-on-hiatus-pending-a-lawsuit, any and everyone could gain access to Paris Hilton's "private" property (bitch please, it's too easy, and so is she) for forty bucks--and people actually purchased it in droves. What were the contents of the site? Videos of Paris in a bubble bath, on a boat with an overweight man snorting an enormous amount of cocaine off of his own heaving manboobs (seriously, they were so big that I felt a little jealous), and having softcore relations with a model exboyfriend whose name I don't know nor care to learn. There were also scans of prescriptions (use your imagination) and driver's licenses and other paperwork you wouldn't want strangers to get a hold of.

As much as I love to loathe Paris, I think what's more pathetic than her IQ and complete lack of class (she referred to a girl on video as being a "public school bitch," uses the N-word and that other word that got Isaiah Washington in hot water with ABC and GLAAD), is that people actually pay to invade her privacy. The fact is, the girl's not that interesting. I can think of nothing profound, charitable, or worthwhile about her as a human being. Okay, scratch the "charitable" part, but while we're on that note:

Here are a couple of worthwhile websites that'll help you be almost as giving as Paris Hilton, just hopefully not in the same vein--and for free:

*By Jess, who is in the mood to bake because it'll keep her warm through the twelve degree temperatures of late.


Anonymous said...

Jeez, that Paris Hilton will show anything to anybody these days. You can't go anywhere online without seeing her tits or ass spattered all over.

One of the largest free porn clips sites on the web has just gotten ahold of a ton more of her videos. Where the hell are all these coming from? Does she own her own video production company? Anyway I thought these were all pulled a few days ago.

If anyone hasn't had enough of her yet you can see more of her than you ever thought possible at

Planet Verge said...

Author's note: I was going to delete the previous comment because it's obvious spam, but the irony it brings to the post is absolutely priceless.