I'm not sure when etiquette went out of style, but I'm here to refresh you. I will leave out the petty nonsense (such as which fork to use for which course of a meal) and get to the important things people seem to be ignoring lately.
1. Say "Bless you."
This should be self-explanatory, but apparently it isn't. So many people wait for someone else to speak up. It's not like you're proposing a c'oup d'etat at Congressional hearing. You're simply being polite to someone who sneezed. Is it that intimidating?
2. Hold the door for the person behind you.
Because if they didn't do the same for you, you'd complain about it too.
If you are invited to an outing, you need to call to confirm or decline. If something comes up at the last minute, your host, if gracious, will surely be able to understand--just call them to inform so they aren't waiting for hours for you in vain. Or, in my case, twenty minutes, after which I'll do my own thing anyway.
4. And on that note, also take no for an answer.
If someone declines an invitation, leave it alone. Harassing them won't make them want to hang out with you.
5. Think of your audience before you speak.
If you are at a job interview, would you drop the F-bomb? Then don't do it when meeting someone's parents.
6. If you're idiotic enough to smoke, don't blow it in someone else's face.
Is there anything less attractive? If you want to destroy your lungs, that's your prerogative, but don't drag (no pun intended) the rest of us down with you.
7. Say "Thank you."
C'mon, we're not obligated to do nice things for you.
8. Don't chew with your mouth open or talk with your mouth full.
Nobody wants to see that, and the "seafood" joke is old.
9. Limit your PDA.
I'm a romantic deep down, but I don't need to see anyone playing tonsil hockey at a shopping mall. Hand holding, the occasional peck, that's fine. But leave the literal tongue-lashings, gropings, and everything beyond it for the privacy of your own home, car, closet, what have you.
10. Unless it's an emergency, limit cell phone conversations to private areas.
Not only don't most of us care about your business, the ones who do tend to be identity thieves. If you are reciting your Social Security or credit card numbers over the phone in public, there's a chance a dishonest person will hear you, and there's a chance said person will ruin your credit for possibly the rest of your life. That, and no one really needs to hear what Kelly wore to Lizzie's party when she showed up with Megan's exboyfriend who's like, soooooo hot.
*By Jess, who is happy the Jets won on Sunday but misses Pennington all the same.