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Friday, November 03, 2006

Why I ADORE Asbury Park

I love any place where Hero Pattern plays, but as of last night, I am specifically a pretty big fan of The Saint.

I was allowed inside because I'm press and I win at life, and I still can't get these two giant red Xs off my hands. Seriously, at first glance it looks like I was playing a bizarre game of tic-tac-toe on my limbs with a knife.

Knives... I should carry one of those with me at all times.

Walking across the street from my car toward the Saint door, two strange Asbury natives yelled that I "have a sexy ass body" and am "built like a rickshaw," respectively. I didn't know what a rickshaw was, so I googled it when I got home, and apparently I look like this:

I chose this photo in particular because it has a Communist symbol in the upper right hand corner, and we all know I loves me some Communism. In any case, I'm happy to know that I look like a bizarre backwards wheelbarrow-buggy hybrid (wheelbuggy?) commonly used in the Third World. I think.

Then, on my way back to my car, a man claiming to be hideously ugly (he wasn't exactly Lenny Kravitz, I'll admit, but I've seen worse mugs in my life) asked everyone in our party for money and gave us weird things like a flashlight and a t-shirt and empty jewelry boxes ("Wait for him to put something in it," the man said, not making things awkward at all for anyone). He also somehow knew I was Italian and warned everyone in sight not to mess with me because I'm probably related to Joe Pesci and that Italians kill everyone. He was pretty smart for a homeless dude, not gonna lie.

I slipped two bucks into his bag when he wasn't looking (for karma's sake--I'm a nice girl, really) and was quickly escorted back inside, then to Belinda (my car, for the ignorant) by drummer Mike Kundrath and guitarist Pierre Marceau, who happen to have a nifty new record coming out in Japan that I got to look at yesterday. If you're in Japan and you're reading this, you should buy it. And if you're not in Japan, you should buy it and import it. If other people can do it with drugs (I'm talking to you, Casino-fascinated Asbury native), you can do it with rock n' roll.

*Jess, who almost always gives money to panhandlers unless they're too greedy about it

1 comment:

Ashley said...

i fucking love jess